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"Feel" my feelings?

Writer's picture: Eve Coker, PhD, LCMHCEve Coker, PhD, LCMHC

Almost everyone has heard that they're supposed to "feel your feelings." It automatically sounds silly and possibly even non-sensical. However, this saying is rooted in effective wellness practices.


The intent is twofold: First, to acknowledge your feelings. They're natural and there's a reason you have them. You may not like them and they may not even be helping you, but trying to ignore them or repress them won't let you get rid of them. Beating yourself up for feeling this way is just going to make it worse. Instead, allowing yourself to recognize how you feel - without judgment - is a great way to understand what you're really experiencing and to figure out a better way to think and feel about it.


Here's one of my favorite articles on HOW to do that: Feeling Overwhelmed? Remember RAIN


Second, our emotions often show up physiologically in our bodies. This is called a somatic response. It's like when your have anxiety and you feel your stomach knotting up or your back muscles tense and aching. Or perhaps you're struggling to communicate and you feel a lump in your throat. Maybe you've just been through heartache and you feel a heaviness in your chest. Recognizing how your emotions are happening in our bodies also allows us to discharge them.

I found this great TikTok video where the poster explains this concept really well. Warning: She does use the f-bomb, but she's coming from a place of authenticity.

Here's the video: How to Feel Your Feelings


Yoga, meditation, exercise, self-soothing/resourcing activities, breathing techniques, body scans, and similar practices are some great ways to physically discharge our feelings as well. Remember to take care of yourself!



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